Defensiveness

• It is not my fault!

• You are always picking on me!

• I didn’t do anything wrong

  
  

• Defensiveness is usually an attempt to protect yourself from a perceived attack. A defensive response usually implies, “The problem isn’t me… it’s you!”
  

Defensiveness shows up in two different ways:

Cross-complaining and

playing the innocent victim.

Defensiveness can send you into a nasty endless spiral. It’s always about avoiding taking responsibility and shifting the blame to someone else.

Defensiveness will turn your marriage into a chaos which could be disastrous

To combat defensiveness each person in the couple relationship will take responsibility for their part in the problem. Taking responsibility can deescalate the tension and gets rid of any reason for defensiveness.

Taking responsibility deescalates tension and gets rid of any reason for defensiveness. It opens the doors to connection, empathy, teamwork, and understanding.

once you’re willing to own up to your part in a conflict, your partner will often soften and reciprocate. 

If defensiveness is spiralling out of control in your relationship let Hope Springs assist you. Please call or email for an appointment where you will find a comfortable, understanding and non judgemental space to work through this issue.